3 Mindset Shifts When You're Feeling Stuck in Life
Have you ever had a dream where you're at school and you know that class is about to start, but no matter how hard you try to get there it's like your legs are bolted to the floor?
You know you're missing something important, but you are completely unable to move.
Life can feel like that sometimes.
Things don't go according to my timeline. Like basically, all the time. I so often feel like I'm falling behind as my friends, strangers on social media, EVERYONE speed right past me.
There are big dreams in my heart I sometimes fear will never happen.
Maybe you can relate, maybe you've felt like you're not living up to your potential, like you're falling behind, and the gap between where you want to be and where you currently are is paralyzing you.
But this is not how we're meant to live.
We're meant to live with purpose and joy. Without comparison and without self assaulting thoughts of how we're sucking at life.
Through feeling this way in my own life, I've recognized three mindset shifts that have helped propel me forward.
1. You are Not Behind
"Love your detours." -Marie Forleo
You are not in a race.
There are no trophies for getting somewhere faster than someone else and you are not necessarily smarter or better than anyone else if you get somewhere quicker.
Being the first to achieve something in your career, schooling, or family life, is not the goal – the goal is to become a person of character that can sustain the successes we achieve.
We're so often begging for a platform, a relationship, a promotion, not realizing the weight of it would absolutely crush us if our character isn't ready yet.
Each person has a different path to walk to develop their character. Our circumstances are divinely allowed into our lives to shape us into who we're meant to be.
THAT'S why we should love our detours because they are the whittling knife that is cutting away at us and making a masterpiece. Someone might be ahead of you, but don't be fooled – everyone has to walk through trials if they're going to live impactful lives.
Focus on letting God get the junk out of your life and on becoming a person of character who can bear weight, love people well, and be worthy of influence.
Embrace your journey.
Embrace the character building process.
2. You Are Not Defined by Your Accomplishments
"Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor, the enemy of the people. It will keep you cramped and insane your whole life." -Anne Lamott
We usually have more than enough tools and skills to move forward in life. It's not for lack of knowledge that we're stuck, but our fear of failing.
At it's core, fear of failing is perfectionism.
Perfectionism is when we look at our outward accomplishments to define who we are.
If your identity is in external things – how well your kids turn out, what rank you are in your company, how many people liked your last post – you can become afraid to make a move for fear of looking foolish, losing what you already have, failing in the eyes of others, which will determine your worth and identity.
That's a terrifying thing to gamble with.
But when we realize that we are an eternal being who could never be defined by these external, temporary things, the inhibiting perfectionism will start to fall away. When our identity is rooted in the God who made us and loves us, we can be free from perfectionism.
We can start stepping out of our comfort zone without fear of the outcome reflecting our worth.
3. You Are Not Powerless
"The accomplishment of any goal is the progressive accumulation, or compound effect, of small steps taken consistently over time." -Darren Hardy
You are not powerless.
You are not a victim.
When you embrace the character building process and realize your worth is not in your accomplishments, you can take action. And your life will change.
When I think of action, I imagine someone taking a dramatic leap of faith like moving to Italy (Tuscan Sun, anyone?) or quitting their job and starting their own business. But if taking action was a pie chart, it would be 2% massive actions and 98% incremental, little actions.
The little actions are way more important in our lives than we give them credit for.
It may seem insignificant to wake up 15 minutes earlier than normal to read scripture, or go to the gym for 30 minutes three days a week, or call up your mom and ask her how she's doing every week. But the way to become the person we want to be a year from now is by taking small steps consistently over time.
Creating new habits, new brain pathways, and new mindsets over time will compile into a life we don't even recognize a year from now.
Developing these mindsets is so crazy important because there are incredible dreams, relationships, platforms, and accomplishments that are specifically designed for you.
Embrace the character building journey. Know where your true worth comes from. And keep taking those small actions that will compound into huge changes.
The God who is outside of time is in control of the timing of your life. He knows the desires of your heart and you are not forgotten by Him. You are not stuck.
What about you? What do you do when you're feeling stuck? Did anyone of these mindset shifts resonate with you?